The Truth Behind it All
by perfectghost
Summary: James isn't always the mischievous marauder everyone seems to think he is. He get hurt like any other person, and hides it to make everyone else happier. - Just something I wrote when I couldn't sleep, because JILY -


James and Sirius' played a game in the classes they were together in. They called it the complaint game. Who ever made the complaint that got the most noticed won. Sirius won, today with the complaint that you could fly to the moon and back on their old nimbus' and still be back before Binns had noticed, well before they could be dismissed. It was a complaint worthy of winning.

James sighed, there was only 5 minutes left of class, however somehow it felt like a life time away. That was mostly because of the fact Professor Binns was rambling on about well, whatever he was talking about. Its not like James was paying attention, he didn't even want to be in this class. He just took it to be closer to Lily and spend some guy time with Sirius without him being loved up with Remus.

Thankfully before James could fall asleep, the bell went signalling the end of the lesson. He let out a sigh of relief, picking up his work and books then leaving the classroom. He waited, as he would normally, at the door for Lily as she collected her books, she always carried around more than him, he wasn't sure why she did exactly or what they were for. But the fact she did made him like her even more.

"Y'know you're looking lovely today Evans," he said honestly smiling down at the redhead, who several inches shorter than himself. James didn't give her a chance to reply before speaking up again. "I was wondering if you'd join me down at The Three Broomsticks this weekend?" He suggested holding a hand out to carry some of her things. "Only if you'd like to of course?" He added as an extra measure.

"Leave me alone Potter, you know I don't like you like that!" Lily said in a hushed tone. She pushed past him, wanting to just get to her next lesson in peace. James watched her leave, the mischievous look in his eyes vanishing, replaced with doubt and worry. He lent back against the uneven brick wall. "I've really done it this time" James mumbled quietly, not wanting any sort of response from his mates.

Sirius came up behind him an put a supportive hand on his shoulder. "Next time mate, next time" he said in a cheery tone looking at James from behind his hair which had been only been getting longer each year as he had refused to have it cut. James had a feeling he was growing it for Remus who had once said he like guys with long hair, but he couldn't be sure.

Sirius didn't get it. He already had Remus falling for him, hook, line and sinker.

In an alternate universe, James would let jealousy and anger get to him and he'd pull his best mate up by his collar and shove him against the wall.

Shouting, he'd yell at him, "YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT. NEXT TIME WILL BE THE SAME AND I'LL STILL WANT LILY AND SHE STILL WON'T WANT ME BACK," and Sirius would just look back at him, shocked out of his mind, trying to comprehend what just happened. But while Sirius'd be doing that, James would punch the wall next to his mates head, breaking the skin on his knuckles causing them to bleed.

However James wasn't one to lash out or take out his anger on his friends. Instead he bottled it up inside and slipped from under Sirius grip, muttering something along the lines, "I'm going to bed, got a headache, tell McGonagall I'm ill," before turning away from him and running up the the main staircase, in the direction towards the Gryffindor Common room.

He used the map to dodge everyone on his way back as he hadn't bothered to take the invisibility cloak with him to lessons today, after not planning on using it, so much for planning. James didn't let anyone see him when he was like this, It was one of his morals. He had this act or a wall he built around himself, it made him look strong and fearless.

Tears pricking his eyes, threatening to spill, his hands crossed over his body, scratching at one another, and his breathing, which was more like gasping for air in a world with no atmosphere, were not part of this act and therefore not allowed to be seen for anyone else's eyes.

He slung his bag down on his bed and turned to the wall punching it. "What's wrong with me?" He asked himself out-loud even though no one would hear it. He held his hands quickly and repeated his earlier actions, slamming his fists against the wall. Tears marked his cheeks, dripping of his face on to his uniform. James took a deep breath while walking into the shared dorm bathroom.

"Stupid feelings" he mumbled pulling him self together, as best he could. The mirror stared back at him, and James stared back before he gave up the imaginary contest, standing back against the door sliding down it to sit down. James didn't move for the rest of the day. Only when the other marauder boys came back and Sirius thumped the door.

"Still crying over Evans?" Sirius asked sarcastically. James stood up and opened the door like nothing ever happened, he faked a small smile.

"Was taking muggle tablets, vial things, make me want to throw up." He lied hiding the true effect of Lily Evans behind it all.

-JKR owns HP, the characters, setting, ect.-


End file.
